Dancing with the Grim Reaper

Back in 1983 I developed a swollen left ankle after playing football one Saturday afternoon. I thought it was a sprain but it became increasingly more painful so I was at the GP’s on the Monday morning. He also thought it was a sprain and referred me to the physio. After several excruciatingly painful physio treatments I was referred back to the GP who was perplexed by my worsening condition. Intuitively I decided to seek a third opinion and paid to see a specialist. The guy took one look at me and said, “you’re being admitted to hospital right away”.

All of my vitals were through the roof and I was very close to leaving this plane again. To cut a long story short I lay on my back in hospital for 2 weeks with mega-doses of antibiotics being ‘dripped’ into me and the poison draining out of two tubes that had been inserted into both sides of my foot. When I returned home I discovered a rusty-looking needle that had gotten entwined in the house carpet. It took months to walk properly again! I doubt I would have been able to fight off the staphylococcus infection without the modern-day medicine.

Six years later in 1989 I was involved in a RTA, which took me out of the passenger seat and left me lying unconscious on the underside of the overturned car’s roof. When I regained consciousness I saw a hole (a smashed out small window) just big enough to crawl out of, and as I did so, I could smell petrol and observed people standing by smoking cigarettes. I got to my feet and moved away from the car dragging my left leg, which had taken the full force of the accident. Since then I have had many ops on my left knee, the last being just last year.

This year I have been Skiing to the beautiful village of Seefeld in Austria. After the fourth day I felt some medial thigh pain in my left leg but was not unduly worried because I’d already done 4 days skiing and the weather forecast was for heavy snow the next day. The snow came and we decided to take the train to Munich for the day. On the last day we didn’t ski because I’d come down with a heavy cold so I thought a Spa day might be better…

Why am I telling you all this? Well, when I got home the thigh pain got worse and my left calf was 3 cm larger than my right and it was hard and warm. Also, upon walking our two dogs over the local hills I had moments of breathlessness, which I’ve never experienced before. So off I go to A&E to get it confirmed that I had a suspected DVT. A precautionary blood-thinning injection was given and the next day the scan showed a large blood clot almost to my groin, which means I also have one or more in my left calf. The breathlessness upon exercise was probably due to small amounts of the thigh clot breaking off and travelling up to get caught in the pulmonary veins in my lungs (Pulmonary Embolisms).

As I write I am housebound with my left leg raised and in a stocking. I have to inject myself in the stomach each day with Heparin so as to give myself a chance if this clot decides to move in a bigger chunk. If you’re not aware a Pulmonary Embolism can be fatal and blood-thinning drugs are no guarantee to save me. I’m not writing this to milk any kind of sympathy from you. I’m writing it because when you take the floor with the Grim Reaper it really sharpens your focus upon what is most important in your life.

Like me, at some stage in your life you will find yourself dancing with the Grim Reaper. Please don’t wait until then before you change your life. We get sick because we are unhappy with some aspect of our life. Was my DVT the result of damaged leg veins due to lots of knee surgery and restricting the blood flow by wearing a knee support whilst skiing and my ski boots being too tight around my calf? Or was it the result of my blood becoming too ‘sticky’ due to the stress my relationship has been causing me? I suspect it has been my own internal dialogue that has caused it and only I can take responsibility for that.

My serious illness is proving to be a great teacher for me. For a long time I have accepted that it’s all in the mind, so when a friend told me that Louise Hay’s interpretation of blood-clotting is halting the flow of joy in one’s life; I had no trouble accepting this. This last year has been less than joyful for me and the mistake I could make is to blame others or outside circumstances for my dis-ease. In truth, the impure thoughts coming off of my own attitudes have created the blockage in my body. Thus I take responsibility for my body being in less than optimum health and I also take responsibility for my body’s healing.

So how will I heal? Will it be by drugs or natural medicines or magic mushrooms? Will it be Spiritual healing, Reiki or Blue-body healing? No, temporary fixes are like pissing in the wind – sooner or later the dis-ease comes back. The only permanent resolution is found in correcting the cause, which is always in the mind. My advice to everybody is this: get your mind out of your memories and out of your fantasies.

I am not frightened of death because I know what I am and that I am eternal whether I’m riding this body or not. I will recover from this episode because I will take my own advice.

In hindsight what other advice would I give myself and anybody else? Live only for your own joy. If a relationship or circumstance is making you unhappy then change it or leave it – it’s not worth dying for! Living your life to please other people never works. You may think you’re clever by courting stress to get a comfortable life but believe me the Grim Reaper is waiting to take you by the hand...

The following is an interesting article, which was sent to me recently by my friend Judy Finch:

http://www.galacticmessages.com/blog/2010/02/meeting-yourself-from-the-future-now/?utm_source=feedburner&utm_medium=feed&utm_campaign=Feed%3A+GalacticMessages+%28GalacticMessages.com%29

Please take a read. It is full of higher, dimensional truth.

I’d like to comment on the article if I may. The knowledge of dimensional time and the possibilities that gives us all is crucial to the understanding of our dimensional nature. However, be in no doubt about one thing; if you want your higher dimensional being to ‘bleed through’ and become your next ‘now’ you have to make a conscious decision to BE that higher-conscious being. In other words, it doesn’t matter how much knowledge you have or whether or not you are doing your spiritual disciplines; if you are not being impeccable in your life it won’t happen. I know this from my own experience. I talk about this more in my article entitled DIG out your Greater Self. The G stands for GIVE (God is a giver). The I is for IMPECCABLE (becoming the Christos is an impeccable journey). And the D is for DREAM (if you don’t have a dream you may as well be dead!). Of course you can always dream a new life now…

Here are my relevant articles:

http://www.whatstress.com/anewlife.htm

http://www.whatstress.com/freearticle4.htm

Coming back to the subject matter. Mind is everything. The feelings you get are the aftermath of your thoughts. There is no feeling without thought. Your body responds to your mind and is a blueprint of it.

If you have to travel to see a guru to get inspiration then there’s something fundamentally wrong. The way the guru gets you to make a promise to him before he gives you his so-called ‘gift of knowledge’ is the way these energy vampires prey upon vulnerable people. I don’t hate anybody but I do dislike the actions of people who rob others of their authentic power.

Life is always precious even when your bad attitude is causing you to have a bad day. If you want to stay in your body then please take good care of it. There’s no evidence that running around the block or eating rabbit food will extend your life but certainly overeating and feasting upon ‘What Katie did Next’ will probably reduce it. Anyway, it’s not the length of life in the body that’s important; it’s the quality of it. Are you following your path towards joy or would the cost to your existing reality be too great to bear?

I have come to realise that being able to communicate what one has learned pales in significance when compared with being able to live the example of that knowledge.

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